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lastvoyages Twenty-fifth Hex (voice+spam for CES)
Aug. 1st, 2012 11:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scarlet_discord [Warden Filter]
[Wanda's voice has poisoned icicles dripping off of it.]
I need to get into the CES.
[spam for CES]
[Wanda hikes her way deep into the CES, a fierce scowl on her face that is sometimes accompanied by tears. There's a conversation she has to have with someone, a very important one. But first she needs to calm down and blow off some steam.]
So the only idea anyone can come up with--and I had to come up with it myself--is to re-alter my memories so I'm not living with the pain anymore. Basically to put me back the way I was before the Barge and these people got their hands on me. That's the best I can expect. Which makes this entire goddamn thing a failure. If anything I am worse off now than I was before I left my world. And nobody gives enough of a shit to offer anything better. Or even express some real sympathy. If I broadcasted this, if I told my story, if I let people know just how bad it's been...the best I can expect is apathy and excuses, and I'll probably be attacked by defensive Wardens.
[A blue glow starts to rise up around her as she walks.]
Fuck this place. Fuck these people. I shouldn't have to edit my memories to cover for how they stood by and let me be hurt over and over again. Someone should have done something. Just like at home. They should have stepped in. Someone should have saved me.
Instead I'm so broken that amnesia is looking good.
[She lets out a shriek of anger and outrage, and a nearby boulder literally detonates into a cloud of dust.]
You call yourselves the good guys? Then why are you all so fucking terrible at it?
[She sobs once and pushes herself onward down the path.]
[much later private to Charles]
[Wanda sounds resigned to the point of hopelessness.]
I need to talk to you. It's important.
[Wanda's voice has poisoned icicles dripping off of it.]
I need to get into the CES.
[spam for CES]
[Wanda hikes her way deep into the CES, a fierce scowl on her face that is sometimes accompanied by tears. There's a conversation she has to have with someone, a very important one. But first she needs to calm down and blow off some steam.]
So the only idea anyone can come up with--and I had to come up with it myself--is to re-alter my memories so I'm not living with the pain anymore. Basically to put me back the way I was before the Barge and these people got their hands on me. That's the best I can expect. Which makes this entire goddamn thing a failure. If anything I am worse off now than I was before I left my world. And nobody gives enough of a shit to offer anything better. Or even express some real sympathy. If I broadcasted this, if I told my story, if I let people know just how bad it's been...the best I can expect is apathy and excuses, and I'll probably be attacked by defensive Wardens.
[A blue glow starts to rise up around her as she walks.]
Fuck this place. Fuck these people. I shouldn't have to edit my memories to cover for how they stood by and let me be hurt over and over again. Someone should have done something. Just like at home. They should have stepped in. Someone should have saved me.
Instead I'm so broken that amnesia is looking good.
[She lets out a shriek of anger and outrage, and a nearby boulder literally detonates into a cloud of dust.]
You call yourselves the good guys? Then why are you all so fucking terrible at it?
[She sobs once and pushes herself onward down the path.]
[much later private to Charles]
[Wanda sounds resigned to the point of hopelessness.]
I need to talk to you. It's important.
[Private]
Date: 2012-08-02 07:18 am (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2012-08-02 07:20 am (UTC)[Private]
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Date: 2012-08-02 07:21 am (UTC)[Spam]
[Mozenrath lets her rage, and he stands there, rubbing the bridge of his nose, looking especially terse each time she utters vulgarity, but he doesn't lecture her.]
I would be happy to help you, Wanda, but I need you to start from the beginning.
[spam]
Date: 2012-08-02 07:38 am (UTC)I spent most of my life imprisoned, drugged, tied, in isolation, because my father didn't want to deal with a kid who was more powerful than him. His best friend, the so-called savior of mutantkind, was there every week to try and convince me that it was for my own good. He should have saved me. He did not.
Eventually my father had me let out so he could use me as a pawn. I resisted, and he had my memories rewritten to make himself look like a loving father and I would continue being his pawn willingly.
Then I died working for him and I ended up here. I ended up depowered so badly that I could not defend myself. Basically I was treated by my Warden like I was as big a risk as Arthas. Even after his own boyfriend kidnapped me and held me hostage for three days, he would not give me back any more of my abilities. Oh sure, some of the other Wardens offered me things like self defense and meditation classes, but did they do anything to address what a fuckup my Warden was being? Of course not. He had to abandon me and leave before I was free of him.
Meanwhile, I let another Warden take advantage of me sexually so that I would have some real protection. [She blinks back tears.] That's how I lost my virginity--in trade for safety in this hellhole. But then he abandoned me too.
Then I got Steph, but when things got really bad and I needed real help, all she got was frustrated with me. She claims to care, but she has no idea how to help me. She had to ask me for ideas.
It's come to this. My only option is to basically edit some of my memories, forget how badly I was treated, so I can meet the Admiral's requirement of regaining my faith in people. The only way I'm going to regain faith in people is if I forget how much most of them suck.
Basically putting me back where I was before I even came here. That is how badly this place and the Wardens have failed me.
And I hate it. I deserve so much better than this.
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Date: 2012-08-02 07:38 am (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2012-08-02 08:02 am (UTC)How's your dog?
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From:[Spam] - I return!
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Date: 2012-08-02 07:44 am (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2012-08-02 08:03 am (UTC)I just need to blow off steam before I ask to have my memories edited.
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Date: 2012-08-02 10:27 am (UTC)Private
Date: 2012-08-02 05:13 pm (UTC)Re: Private
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Date: 2012-08-02 10:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-02 05:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-08-02 01:13 pm (UTC)It's not like she's not used to seeing the CES get demolished, but she's usually the responsible party, and the things being demolished aren't usually things she's sitting and leaning against halfway through a run. Her hair and clothes took most of the dust, but she's wearing a crop top and her lower back feels lightly sandblasted.]
.....ow.
Spam
Date: 2012-08-02 05:51 pm (UTC)Oh Gods, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. Are you all right?
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Date: 2012-08-02 01:57 pm (UTC)private
Date: 2012-08-02 05:55 pm (UTC)Re: private
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Date: 2012-08-02 03:53 pm (UTC)So much for that. ]
text;
Date: 2012-08-02 04:28 pm (UTC)It looks like I'm not your warden anymore.
I'm sorry.
text
From:[spam]
Date: 2012-08-02 04:37 pm (UTC)Ain't no one in the 'verse as good as they think they are.
You, uh... need anything?
[spam]
Date: 2012-08-02 05:58 pm (UTC)I need to get out. But the only way that I get out is to do something that I cannot possibly do in this environment. I'm stuck.
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Date: 2012-08-02 09:47 pm (UTC)[spam]
Date: 2012-08-03 01:08 am (UTC)[spam]
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Date: 2012-08-03 01:56 am (UTC)...the Dresdonian levels of destruction, on the other hand, make him worried. This looks a lot like a wizard in a temper and he's debating turning back when he takes a turn and runs into the source of the local entropy.]
...Miss Wanda.
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Date: 2012-08-03 02:29 am (UTC)Oh, uh, sorry. I'm just cleaning up.
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Date: 2012-08-03 05:39 pm (UTC)Getting the feeling water park time didn't help much.
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Date: 2012-08-04 11:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-08-03 06:23 pm (UTC)He does wait, though, however long it takes, instead of returning to his cabin. Something's clearly wrong and for the sake of both Miss Maximoff herself and the safety of the ship as a whole, he feels it would behoove him to find out what.]
[Spam]
Date: 2012-08-05 12:09 am (UTC)Oh. Hi, Narvin. [She runs a self-conscious hand back through her hair.]
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